The Bigger Picture: Pregnancy Edition

Hey guys I know it’s been a while. A lot has gone on between now and the last post but I’ll spare the dramatics! If you don’t know by now, I’m pregnant! 🤗 It has really been a journey. Today I’m officially in my 3rd trimester so I’m on the last lap. There has been a lot of ups and downs but it’s been beautiful.

“Claimer” I’m pregnant guys! Lol I wrote that because in a post I wrote back in September last year called “7 months pregnant”, I started off the second paragraph by saying “disclaimer! I’m not pregnant guys!” I thought this would be a good segway into what I wanted to talk about. By the way, if you haven’t read that post, I recommend reading it for this post to make a little more sense.

So in a nutshell, the post discussed a spiritual or figurative pregnancy. I was 7 months pregnant in a dream I had but I wasn’t “showing”, so I doubted that I was pregnant. The dream meant that people often doubt their potential or purpose they are pregnant with because they feel as though it isn’t showing the way they’d want it to. It was a very powerful dream and that post will always be a reminder for me to push past what eyes can see and live in my purpose anyways.

In today’s post however I wanna be completely transparent about my physical pregnancy. Maybe there are women out there also expecting or women who desire to be pregnant one day. This post is for you.

Just like in my “7 months pregnant post”, I faced a lot of insecurities. On the contrary, it wasn’t about how little I was, but how “big.” I was always concerned about weight gain in the beginning because of a comments people made innocently. “Wow you’ve gained weight since last seeing you” or “your face is getting fat”. All of them I took with smiles but inside it was hard. I even did my own self defeat. “Didn’t you just eat?” Or “your not even far along yet and gaining so much weight.”

I quickly had to snap out of this habit. The truth is, whether I liked it or not, I (like any other expecting mother) would have to gain weight. It comes along with the package of pregnancy. Not to mention the other many ways your body experiences change. That’ll be another post.

It’s dangerous to fall into— and STAY into— the trap of down talking yourself, or accepting every negative word in this time. First and foremost, things are transferable. What I am about to say, many people may not believe or understand but believe me when I say, the baby can feel what you feel. Words of self defeat can transfer to your unborn baby. God corrected me on many occasions. Even past weight gain, I faced many mental attacks. Some were hormonal, but some were deeper than that. Some things I said, God had to tell me to immediately pluck those things up and out. Let me be clear, no matter how confident and and “Christian” you are, you still need God’s help and direction in order to make it through effectively.

Can I tell you something? The devil sees when there is potential. Where there is life, there is potential. Your baby is not just “your baby.” God is bringing them into the world for a reason and that’s the reason you must be so aware of what you say or accept. Don’t speak negative things over yourself or your baby. And don’t accept any and everything from people. Be sensitive spiritually. Did you know that some people feel rejection from the womb? It’s starts from there because the enemy knows that as far back in retrospect as he can take pain and brokenness, can make it harder to get full freedom.

So expecting moms, moms who have already given birth, and moms who someday will give birth, be alert! This is the time you wanna get spiritually intuned. And not just with yourself but with God! He will show you things that you’d never see on your own. It’s not too late.

Just remember, pregnancy isn’t really about you. It can be hard to take the main focus off yourself image when that’s all you’ve done your whole life. But you’re now growing a human inside of you. God is depending on you to take care of yourself in more ways than looks because this baby is dependent on it. Eat right, speak right, think and meditate on positive and good things. And remember, keep God in your pregnancy! I’ll be posting videos soon, so we’ll talk more about the subject before our baby girl gets here! You got this mama! Remember,your precious baby is the bigger picture. ❤️

I’m Busy

Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt like you could barely breathe because of how busy you were? You’re tending to work, or maybe school, along with staying up to date with your social and personal life. Maybe you’re running a business as well as keeping a house and/or family in order. Whatever you’re responsible for, there are times where we all get burned out.

I had many moments like that at the end of December and early into the new year. However last week, I experienced the flip side of that.

I had some free time in the evenings after work and I really wanted to hang out with my friends. My husband and I were planning to double date with our close friends. I was really excited since I haven’t done something like that in a while.

Unfortunately, my friend wasn’t able to make it a because she’s pursuing her master’s degree as a speech pathologist and she’s always loaded with homework and assignments. I honestly wouldn’t want her to miss out on her assignments or getting well deserved grades, so I understood. Her husband also had a load of work to get done, which I also understood.

The next day, I wanted to hang out with another close friend of mine, but she also was occupied with so many important responsibilities that she couldn’t avoid.

I was disappointed because I really wanted to use my free time. But then I started thinking; how many times do we disappoint God because we are “busy.” More times than not, we miss out on great opportunities because of how “busy we are.” I’m guilty big time.

That weekend I decided to go on a date with God. Sounds funny I know. I drove to the park, meditated on His Word (Bible) and talked to Him. But it really doesn’t take all of that. All He needs is time out of the day for a prayer or a moment of silence with Him.

It helped me too. I felt so much better than if I would have went out with my closest friends. And trust me, we always have a good time together, but when you’re with God, it’s a different feeling.

Following my date with God, I got to hang out with my friends and my husband. It was like I needed to not be busy for Him first..

Take some time this week to hang out with God. Do what works for you. Cry, walk, jump, exercise, pray, get away, run, etc. It makes a difference in how your week flow.

If you don’t have a relationship with Him, or may be thinking you’re the “Religious type”, just give it a try. You’ll be surprised how different you’ll feel.

Delayed, not denied

Hey family, it’s been a while. Life caught up with me, never the less I attained some interesting experiences within the time frame of my last post and now. This post in itself was delayed. Though I really can’t complain, because God has been good to me.
Going way back to November, I can attest that it was a challenging month for me mentally. There were so many delays and setbacks. Number one and most pertinent for me; my book launch. For those who don’t follow me on social media, I WROTE A BOOK called “From Daith to Favor”!! 😁😁🙌🏾. It was published mid October and was scheduled to be launched November 7th. I was nervous but completely excited because that weight would be off my chest. When November came however, the publishing company I worked with, made me aware that my book wouldn’t be ready by then. I was disappointed at first because I built with the pandemic going on, I wasn’t sure if there would be a lock down again and I wanted to have a book launch. The date that I proposed to reschedule it for ended up not working either. The day before I had to cancel it again.

Another thing that was delayed was me getting my car. My old car was going (that was my fault I must confess), and I needed one for work. Throughout the month of November, I had to get rides to work or borrow others’ cars. I was frustrated because I hate to inconvenience people.
throughout all of this (other things happened in November) God showed me that things being delayed are not “ NOs” from Him. It doesn’t mean we won’t get it. In fact we KNOW we will. But we can’t see how. As people who God created to have dominion, it’s against our human nature to feel like we have no control. I know that sounds a little arrogant but perpend it. He made us to have dominion, but sin messed that up. But from eden until now, we have never lost the sensation of wanting to have control over our lives.

More prominent than the temporal delays I experienced, were the spiritual ones. Not hearing God right away can be frustrating, but He isn’t always denying you in silence. Sometimes he’s watching you and observing what you will do next.

To anyone reading this and you feel like you are getting no where; maybe you are looking for a job, a car, house, promotion, or even your purpose. Guess what, delays is not denial. Your answer is on the way. Soon it will make sense.

Fast forward to the first day of 2021. I am revisiting this post that I started writing early December. I’m just reflecting on the lessons I’ve learned throughout November and December. I can honestly say that through these didactic experiences, delay isn’t denial. I’ve experienced something absolutely beautiful at the end of the year that was worth the “delay” and I’ll tell you exactly what i mean in future posts 😉! Will you come with me through this blog journey of 2021?

Let’s say this in this here year of 2021, delay is not denied!

Pressure

Last night, my husband and I were talking about a night out a few weeks back. We went out for our friend’s birthday for bowling (shout out to Aldaine lol). It was a large group so we split up in 3 teams. Disclaimer! I am not the best bowler, and probably not the first one you’ll want to put on your team lol. But most of my friends are great at bowling and very serious about winning too lol. That night I just happened to be on the most competitive team (a team of all men). Not to mention, the birthday boy was on my team and IS THE MOST competitive man I know lol (no offense bro 🤣). AND my husband was on my team is is also low key competitive 😂. Like why would they do that to me😂? LOL. In my head I’m thinking (I’m done for now). But I still accepted the challenge and played. During most of the first game, I got a bunch of gutter balls or hit a few pins down, but never a strike or spare. I felt so much pressure because I know they’ll be watching me and they are depending on me to do my best.
It’s important to realize this; everyone in life will experience pressure at some point, we can’t change that. However, we have the power to control how we deal with it. When you feel pressure, use it for your good.

Had I kept telling myself I’ll never be good or hit one ball, or didn’t play, I would’ve never gotten better. I was shown what I was doing wrong, and I got to learn from the best (alright calm down, don’t let it get to the head if y’all are reading this lol). I also got to be the cheerleader lol because they are so used to winning that, they don’t make a sound when they are not doing their best. Sigh*, MEN! This is why a woman needs to always be on their team lol. EVEN with the worst player, we came in second place and only lost by 6 points.

On a more serious note, apply pressure for your good. If you’re at work and there is a heavy work load on you, tell yourself, “to whom much is given much is required”. Most of the time, nothing “good” in life comes easy. You have to face pressure and go through hard challenges. I’m not saying to sit there and take every punch of the devil, but when you look at things differently, it’s makes the devil confused. Has anyone ever stood behind a door you were standing in front of, and tried pushing it? They would push so hard, but if you were to move, they would go flying. That’s the how the devil goes flying when he applies pressure and you just unexpectedly move out the way. You confused him.

No one likes pressure. ONLY in this case, do I classify as that “no one” lol. Pressure often makes you feel like you can’t breathe or like you are stifling. But remember, it can always be for your good. Keep on pushing through school, through testing, through fasting, through exercising. Look at your end goal. It will be worth it in the end

REST

Everyone needs time in their life to rest. The word rest can mean a lot of things. We rest in many ways. Rest can be physical sleep every night, it can mean a nap, it can mean a break from everything you are accountable for, it can mean death.

The rest I’m talking about today is mental rest. We are going to a period in the body of Christ, where some of God’s children are exhausted. Rest doesn’t always indicate that you are in a bad season in your life. You can take rest from good things. For example, the joy of having children and a loving family is bliss for any mother, but sometimes you need rest to recuperate again. When you want to be the best you can be, it requires rest.

Even Jesus rested. The bible says in Mark 4:38, that in the midst of a storm, Jesus rested. The disciples were terrified and even became upset with Jesus because they asked Him ” how can you possibly sleep during this boisterous storm.” You know what Jesus did? He got up, rebuked (corrected) the storm, and TOLD the STORM to rest!! Did you get that? Jesus essentially said, “Listen storm, you are interrupting my physical rest, and the rest of my disciples. So go on and REST. PEACE be still!”

This week, I will be posting scriptures with the word “peace” in it or that has a peaceful message. In this season of rest, feed your spirit with God’s word of promise. We can find so much peace and comfort in His word. Enjoy your week!

Never Alone

Here’s a special post today; that of my friend, Micholyn who has recently lost a loved one. To the individual facing hard times, and to the individual in a happy season, just know that you’re never alone. Thank you Micholyn, and sleep well Miss Michelle

Hi everyone. I’m back.

As with everything in life, sometimes you need to take a break and get right back at it.

Unfortunately, this blog post is from a very somber place today, and as I am writing it, the overwhelmingly sad feeling is coming right back.

On Monday, September 14, I received a call from my sister that I my favourite Aunt had passed away due to the Corona virus. At that moment, I couldn’t even speak. I mean, I knew there was a chance that that would be the end result, but I was still in disbelief.

On Monday, I cried. On Tuesday, I cried some more, had an asthma attack, it was awful. On Wednesday, I got mad. I guess I was really going through the stages of grief.

But, the thing is, I didn’t get mad at the virus, or people who wouldn’t wear masks, or…

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Seven Months Pregnant

Hey family! I hope everyone is having an amazing week so far. I pray that God gives you strength to get through the rest of your week. Today’s blog is a little different and here’s why! Remember back in my earlier blogs how I shared with you that God shows me things in my dreams? Well He still does, but this one really caught my attention.

Disclaimer! I’m not pregnant guys! Well not in the way you may be thinking lol. However, in this dream I had a few weeks ago, I was pregnant. A very close friend of mine (In the dream) made me aware that I was. I couldn’t understand why or how she could think that because my stomach was so flat. Usually when a person is 7 months, their stomach is showing. They may not be big but you can definitely tell. No matter how many times I asked if she was sure, she just kept On insisting I was.

I remember even being disappointed in the dream because who doesn’t want the cute baby bump to show the pregnancy right? I mean if it comes with the morning sickness, the swelling, the hormonal mood swings, why not at least have the belly for cute maternity photos😩? Yea that was the millennial in me speaking lol.

To be honest, the following morning when I woke up, I considered getting checked out JUST INCASE lol! I started questioning God like “Are you implying something here Jesus?” Lol. I even started considering the things I may have done to my body in the past 7 months. Was I eating right? Have I ever caused any harm to the area where the baby would have been?

I’ve never had children of my own, but I can imagine that any sensible woman who finds out that they are carrying a baby will want to change negative habits they may have had prior to pregnancy; EVEN IF they didn’t want the child. Because when a woman is pregnant, any harm done to the baby can also harm the woman.

Maybe they would stop smoking, or drinking. Maybe they would be aware of the medication they are taking into their system. Pregnancy (whether expected or not) has a way of changing the way we think. But back to the dream.

It wasn’t until earlier last week that I got the understanding of the dream. There are many parts to it.

I remember God talking to me about the fact that I was disappointed that my belly wasn’t showing. He said to me “so what if you aren’t showing. As long as the baby is in there and doing well, that’s what matters most. He started showing me that many people are pregnant with purpose and gifts, but are upset because the world can’t see them yet. They think they should be “showing by now.”

Have you ever felt that way? Like Lord if I’m pregnant with purpose and I’m anointed but bearing the pain that comes with it, why can’t my fruit show? If I am suffering the morning sickness and uncomfortable kicking and moving in this pregnancy but people can’t see the belly, what good is it? But you know what God is saying? You’re belly showing (for proof of your pregnancy) is not the “fruit” that matters most. It’s the ability to give birth to that baby after all the suffering. Don’t wrap your head around the belly showing, but nourish your gifts and purpose until that baby comes out. Somebody slap your neighbor rii……..lol ok!

The second important detail in the dream was the number 7. This number is important in many ways. There are some people out there with 7 specific gifts and callings inside. As you read this blog, pray and ask God what are those Seven things. Seven is God’s perfect and divine number. It’s completion. The number seven on this pregnancy signifies a God ordained pregnancy. It’s spiritual.

What is inside of you? As I give birth to what God has called me to, you can do the same. The truth is, we all have things inside of us waiting to be birthed. Books, careers ministries, kingdom building, businesses, families, world changing ideas and more. So again what is inside of you?



The Transition

Lately, I’ve been very vocal on my social media and in my personal life about how I am going through somewhat of a transition. It almost feels like a chapter in a book. It’s like I’m so intrigued to turn the next page sometimes to see what’s on the other side.

In the month of august, I shared with you that it would be a month of new beginnings for me. I’m not quite sure I knew everything that it entailed. I had my mind geared towards spiritual growth only. I figured since God had me on this holistic development of the mind, body and spirit that I would only be tackling the spirit. But to my surprise I was wrong.

Lets back up to earlier this year. I was in a place with my job where I was completely over it and I wanted OUT. I was mentally exhausted and tirelessly being overused. There was so much chaos in the office. I would be doubled booked for patients in my schedule (that would be a mistake on receptions end), but still have to treat both patients at the same time. I would have to work almost an hr later than what I was scheduled and I was already working 11 hr shifts and almost an hr away from home. Because I was the “newish” clinician, I would always have to take the rap for it. There is so much more untold but this is not going to be a complaining forum lol.

Anyway, I had enough of it and I started looking for other jobs. There was a specific company that caught my attention. Ever since I was in Dental hygiene school I was drawn to this company. They had an opening and I decided to apply. I was happy to find out that the regional Hygiene manager liked me and wanted to have an interview. Things were just easily flowing. I thought, wow God, this must be your will. Right before the pandemic, I had a second interview (this time with the dentist, and 2 other managers in the room). Although they really liked me, the dentist thought I wasn’t qualified for the job. I found out weeks later and I literally broke down and BAWLED, okay? BAWLED! I never usually got this disappointed with other turn downs, but I just KNEW in my heart, this one had to be mine. Have you ever had that feeling before? You just know that something is specially designed for you but can’t see how to get there? You feel like everytime you are closer to your promise, something gets in the way?

After that turn down, I just looked to God and said, “Lord let your will be done. Help me to be content in whatever position I am in.”Sometimes you still have something left to do before God can move you.

I eventually learned to love the office I was in. And eventually, God moved the people who were hard to work with and wanted to set me up for failure. 3 of them were fired.

Now, ABOUT THE TRANSITION…this part is where God really blew my mind. Between the time of me being turned down, the pandemic starting up, me being out of work for 2 months WITHOUT pay, God was doing something behind the scene. He blessed my husband and I tremendously (that’s for another blog…lol). But in order for that blessing to come, along with other requirements, I had to be at my job for a certain amount of time. After being blessed in that capacity, God showed up again. About 2 weeks ago, the same job I desired called ME. Did you hear that? Listen family, I am not one to boast; I honestly don’t even consider myself worthy sometimes the way God blesses me, but I have to tell somebody what He has done so they can be strengthened! The company that I wanted to work with, called me back and said they liked my resume and the skills I had. The person on the phone was someone who I never spoke to, but it felt like we knew each other. We ended up skipping the first interview required and went straight to the final one which went very well. I got offered the position within hrs. Isn’t God good?

Ok guys, seriously now, about the TRANSITION lol. I got over one hurdle, but the next part was telling my current job I was leaving. I started getting knots in my stomach because I’ve always been the type to try not to let people down. I felt like I wasn’t being “loyal.” When I did build the courage to tell them, guilt came over me. A lot of things were thrown in my face. “After we did this for you, and we did this.” You’ll quickly learn how people’s hearts are towards you in controversy. Other things were said that made me feel defeated. But thank God for praying friends. I called my friend Tay (blog: honeywiththepen.com), who prayed a PRAYER over me. I instantly felt peace. Later on that day, words of affirmation were spoken directly to me from a stranger! God does that.

What I want you to know is, God considers you in every transition of your life. They aren’t always “smooth.” God He is with you in the process. He says in His word (Isaiah 43: 2, NLT) “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown…” All along He is with you as a guide, father and friend. Trust Him in the transition.

Friday Fuel: Take it Easy

Take it easy. I know we’ve been coming up on some rough times. Financially, mentally, physically, spiritually and it’s all a jumble. But in spite of, you are still here. Take a deep breath, relax. Cry if you have to. Sometimes we go through those stages in life where we just NEED encouragement and for someone to pour back into us. Maybe you’ve been pouring out into others and have depleted all the strength you have left. Here’s something you should know. God has not forgotten you. He is with you. A name that characterizes God is “Emmanuel” which means “God with us.” That means He’s not subject to being present only in heaven, but His spirit fills the entire universe. Yes, He is with YOU. He hasn’t forgotten you. Today I’m sharing a short blog just for you. Take in every word. Take the next few days moment by moment. Focus on the now and find your peace in every second it carries. Happy Friday!